Musings of A Tired Brain… (Warning: Rambly and written at 2:30am)

WARNING: Rambly, scattered, and may not be coherent. May also contain slight paranoia and psychosis. But I am not a medical professional and cannot diagnose me.

There are a lot of things that a 22-year-old thinks about when she is musing late at night. This particular one has been babysitting the a friend’s kid tonight and musing about many different things during and since.

1. I am amazed at how immature adults can be. This really comes from the fact that some of the adults around me in the complex have acted pretty immature. I am 22 and not the most mature… but I feel like my age can help explain my naivete. Some of these people are 30+ and acting like those who were acting like middle-schoolers. (Not the parents of the girl I was watching, but others.) I wish it were not so.

2. People worry about me. I guess my “generosity” causes people to worry about me or get annoyed because I have been used and burned in the past. It wasn’t on purpose… I just give people the help I hope I would get were I in that situation. Really, it would be nice if people did. It causes some people to worry that I will be burned again and my niceness (which is little, I swear) and generosity will be used and abused some more or more than I can handle. But I love people and like to help them, so perhaps the goodness outweighs the possibility of being stiffed? Who knows. But thanks for the concern and I am grateful people care!

3. Allergies to certain kinds of smoke make me sick and can be difficult to avoid in an apartment setting. Yep, I am allergic to some types of smoke to the point of stomach aches, bad headaches, and breathing issues. I can generally avoid it, but when it seeps through the walls from adjacent apartments, it becomes a problem. I am thinking of moving soon to an apartment that is not older than my parents (an exaggeration!) and smelling of grossness. A non-smoker’s closet and clothes should NOT smell like cigarettes.

4. Children and I play nice most of the time, but not all. I don’t take kindly to certain things and may be a tad more strict with kids when they are over than the child is used to. I don’t make empty threats… if I say “this, this, or corner,” that is what is gonna happen. Puppy eyes and tears don’t work on me. Helped raise too many kids. I also don’t take kindly to being yelled at or hit repeatedly… other reasons to put a child I am sitting in a corner. But at least I don’t hit them!   I also ask the parents if I can, in fact, put them in the corner and if they would please let their children know that if they are in my house to listen to my rules (which aren’t that strict, really…). In their house, I go by their rules. Am I too strict? I do let them play, toss my books and movies around if they are really small kids, and play games with them… but I will just watch them throw a tantrum and wait till they calm down to enforce what is supposed to be going on (after trying to help them calm down, of course. Yay snot wiping and hugging to defrazzle children). Sometimes the tantrums are comical. Perhaps I am too strict, perhaps not… I try to play nice but there are some things I just don’t do well. However, games and movies and songs I am good at! And art. 😀

5. I love my friends to death. This has always been true. I tend to be a tad protective and perhaps a little more than a tad concerned for them. I hate them to be sad or hurt or angry and would love to help them smile and be happy and enjoy life (Run on! :D). I have dropped everything for my friends multiple times, and sometimes that hurts the people who need me less, but I have dropped my entire activity for the day for my friends when they really need me.  From getting up at the crack of dawn or staying up till the light seeps over the horizon to rise again, from going places I don’t like to draggin them places that are fun, from cooking good food to having a nice glass of wine or something. I really love them. 😀

6. I need a job. Seriously. And a new apartment.

7. My cats are amazing! They really can make me smile at almost anything. Like when they get halfway stuck under a cabinet, or take their food out of their dish, bat it around, and then eat it in a different room. I can cuddle them when I really need fuzzy comfort and endorphins. You have met them, right? If not, you should. My husband is amazing too, though not a cat.

8. Dry erase boards are wonderful when you are babysitting an artistic child. They can draw all over it, erase things and re-do them with a swipe of an eraser. It also is a nice place for them to make different pictures. Just take a pic of the image drawn and you can erase and start over! I got a drawing of my cats and my hubby and myself, and another one of a dragon. It was really cute. I think I will have to keep it down off the wall and let kids draw on it more. So long as it is just on the white-erase board.

9. Late-night commercials are entertaining. They usually are aimed at adults, and some are very… adult… but some of their gimmicks make me laugh really hard. There are also really strange ones that kids won’t get in the slightest. But even commercials that are aimed at kids tend to be funnier at night… they are slightly odder and abstract. Not for little little kids. But these things are really funny.

10. I can count! Yep, this musing is from the tired portion of my brain that is associating with the one small glass of alcohol at 2:30 in the morning on a half-full stomach. Perhaps I can’t and have my numbering off. I am too tired to tell….It also is helpful to note that if you read all this, you can count too! And probably need something else to do right now. Perhaps you are amused with some of my silly writings and my musings, but this post is not very litereary, well-thought-out, nor amusing. Just rantings and ramblings of a sleepy brain.

Glad things were pretty good tonight. Kid was real good until she got tired, then there was some friction but not an unusual or horribly amount. She is a great, smart kid. She can use “fascinating” properly! I would totally watch her again in the future. Though, perhaps when I am more awake and less dying of smoke seepage I am allergic to. Not their fault, though.

And I am hoping that you are having a great day, having a good night, and will be enjoying yourself fully tomorrow. Because you must go Forward! Life awaits! (with a much less tired brain!)


About N B

Artist, critic, friend, and rambly-ponderer.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s